Verbal violence in childhood: a silent trauma with lasting effects
When we think of the word violence, we often imagine physical acts, shouting, or scenes of confrontation. Yet a much more subtle form of mistreatment—often minimized and sometimes even socially tolerated—can leave deep marks: verbal violence. According to several studies conducted in the United Kingdom and published in BMJ Open, the psychological consequences of such verbal aggression are not only real but potentially more severe than those of physical violence.
A common and increasing phenomenon
Research conducted with more than 20,000 adults reveals a worrying trend: while physical violence against children has been decreasing across generations, verbal violence has been rising. In the 1950s, about 12% of children reported being victims of verbal abuse. Today, among generations born after 2000, that proportion has reached nearly 20%.
Conversely, physical violence has fallen from 20% to about 10% over the same period, reflecting a collective awareness of the impact of hitting… but not necessarily of the impact of words.
These figures highlight an important reality: hurtful, humiliating, or degrading words are still widely normalized. They are sometimes perceived as “normal” educational methods, “necessary” reprimands, or even “little phrases meant to motivate.” Yet their effect can be devastating.
Deep psychological repercussions
One of the researchers’ major findings is the direct link between verbal violence in childhood and poor mental health in adulthood. Children who regularly endure mockery, humiliation, threats, or harsh criticism are 64% more likely to suffer from low mental well‑being later in life.
This rate is higher than the 52% increase observed among victims of physical violence.
And people who experience both verbal and physical violence show even more alarming results, with a sharply increased risk of long‑term emotional disorders.
The effects manifest in several ways:
- difficulty managing stress,
- low self‑esteem,
- social withdrawal,
- chronic anxiety,
- persistent depression,
- a lasting sense of worthlessness or pessimism.
Participants in these studies also described feeling emotionally distant, unable to feel close to others, and struggling to form healthy relationships.
Why do words hurt so much?
Neuroscience provides some enlightening answers. Repeated insults, humiliating criticism, or verbal threats trigger a permanent state of vigilance in the child. The brain switches into alert mode, which alters the way emotions and stress are managed in adulthood. Recent research shows that verbal violence can “reconfigure” the brain by overactivating the threat system and weakening the reward system.
In other words, the child learns to expect the worst, feels constantly in danger, and has difficulty experiencing joy or satisfaction.
These changes have a lasting effect on identity, the capacity to feel safe in relationships, and one’s sense of self-worth.
Examples that speak for themselves
Consider a common example: a child who, after every poor grade or clumsy mistake, hears “You’re useless,” “You’ll never make it,” or worse, “You’re a failure.” Even without a single blow, the child internalizes these words as truths about themselves.
As they grow up, they may develop:
- a disproportionate fear of failure,
- self‑sabotaging behaviors,
- difficulty imagining a positive future,
- or a generalized loss of trust in relationships.
These mechanisms are not a matter of willpower—they are the consequences of repeated messages that shaped their worldview and their sense of self.
Some studies even show that severe exposure to verbal violence increases the risk of risky behavior, substance use, or even incarceration in adulthood.
The word abuse takes on its full meaning here: it is a repeated attack that weakens, destroys, and leaves invisible scars.
How can we prevent and act?
One key to combating verbal violence is awareness. Many adults never learned that their words could have an impact comparable to physical violence. To change that, several measures are essential:
- raising parents’ awareness of the impact of humiliating criticism,
- training teachers to identify signs of distress in children,
- expanding public child protection policies to explicitly include verbal violence.
Researchers emphasize this: verbal violence is not inevitable. By changing the way we speak to children and encouraging kind communication, we can alter their life trajectory and offer them a healthier, more stable development.
Conclusion: rethinking the weight of words
Words can wound—sometimes more deeply and lastingly than physical violence. Recent studies clearly show that verbal violence in childhood is not just a difficult phase to “get over,” but a determining factor in adult mental health. Acting now means offering tomorrow’s children a safer, more respectful environment where they can flourish.